FORWARD TO 2007

We have arrived at the following conclusions with respect to the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus:

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding the reindeer. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can achieve a maximum speed of 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who (being American) is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point # 1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of the sleigh) to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the British Head of State).

5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. At an estimated mass of at least 250-pounds (without clothing and sleigh) Santa would be subjected to at least 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: Although it appears unlikely that Santa really delivers presents, in the absence of data sufficient to completely rule out the possibility, it should still be recommended to be good.

If you disagree with this analysis, you may send your comments to <dr.bunsen_brenner@mad.scientist.com>.

December 8, 2006

I've been asked if I have any wishes. Of course I do! Here are some ideas:

December 7, 2006

In memory ....

December 6, 2006

I love this 2,300 year-old mosaic. It is part of a special exhibition titled “Stories in Stone: Conserving Mosaics of Roman Africa; Masterpieces from the National Museums of Tunisia” (currently on display at the Getty Villa). Two millenia ago, North Africa was a fertile land which supplied food to the rest of the Roman Empire. The wealth created by this trade paid for luxurious homes decorated with ornate mosaics. The example shown below once adorned the floor at the bath complex at Thysdrus -- modern day El Jem, Tunisia. (Unfortunately, the picture won’t do it justice). The inscription translates to:

THE BIRDS DIE FROM JEALOUSY AND THE OWL DOES NOT CARE

Owl And Dying Birds, Roman, circa A.D. 300. Limestone and marble, h: 113.3 cm x w: 125.7 cm, d: 4.8 cm.
Republique Tunisienne, Ministere de la Culture, Institut National du Patrimoine. Photograph by Bruce White, 2005.

November 30, 2006

YUMMY RECIPES

Guacamole is made from avocados, right? Not necessarily. According to an article in today’s L.A. Times one of the best selling dips in the nation, guacamole sold by Kraft Food contains less than 2% avocado. The rest consists of “modified food starch, coconut and soybean oils, food coloring”.

This reminds me of a story the UK's Guardian broke in April this year. It found that strawberry shakes from fast food outlets such as McDonald's contain no strawberries at all. The paper published the recipe:

Milkfat and nonfat milk, sugar, sweet whey, high-fructose corn syrup, guar gum, monoglycerides and diglycerides, cellulose gum, sodium phosphate, carrageenan, citric acid, E129 and artificial strawberry flavor (amyl acetate, amyl butyrate, amyl valerate, anethol, anisyl formate, benzyl acetate, benzyl isobutyrate, butyric acid, cinnamyl isobutyrate, cinnamyl valerate, cognac essential oil, diacetyl, dipropyl ketone, ethyl butyrate, ethyl cinnamate, ethyl heptanoate, ethyl heptylate, ethyl lactate, ethyl methylphenylglycidate, ethyl nitrate, ethyl propionate, ethyl valerate, heliotropin, hydroxyphrenyl- 2-butanone (10% solution in alcohol), ionone, isobutyl anthranilate, isobutyl butyrate, lemon essential oil, maltol, 4-methylacetophenone, methyl anthranilate, methyl benzoate, methyl cinnamate, methyl heptine carbonate, methyl naphthyl ketone, methyl salicylate, mint essential oil, neroli essential oil, nerolin, neryl isobutyrate, orris butter, phenethyl alcohol, rose, rum ether, undecalactone, vanillin and solvent).

Try making that at home. Bon appétit.

November 29, 2006

The average price of U.S. college tuition is rising twice as fast at the overall rate of inflation, according to the College Board. Only the health care sector is getting more expensive faster. For someone who has to pay full fare, a Georgetown and Yale education can now cost $200,000.

But as in the health care sector, more money does not translate to better results. In a recent survey, college seniors scored only 1.5 percentage points higher on average than college freshmen in their knowledge of history, economics and international relations. The survey also showed that seniors at some of the most prestigious schools actually scored lower than freshmen.

While students' intellectual aptitude declines, academic pay rises. 112 of America's college presidents now earn more than $500,000 a year.

Something is wrong here. Is it the current college system itself? And could it be that the main end beneficiaries of subsidized college loans, grants and tax deductions are not the students or academia, but the top level college employees, the administrators and board members?

November 24, 2006

THANKSGIVING

Superb holiday feast at the house of our attorney, George Rosenstock and his lovely wife Kathleen, who served an amazing meal. Everything was home made -- even the pie crusts.

What many regard as the nation’s first Thanksgiving took place in December 1621 as the religious separatist Pilgrims held a three-day feast to celebrate a bountiful harvest. The day did not become a national holiday until 1863 when President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday of November as a national day of thanksgiving. Later, President Franklin Roosevelt clarified that Thanksgiving should always be celebrated on the fourth Thursday of the month to encourage earlier holiday shopping, never on the occasional fifth Thursday.

I wonder if Roosevelt would approve of today's commerce. Here in L.A., the annual Christmas tradition of "cashing in" is already in full swing. Many retailers are expecting to make up to 50% of their annual profits from holiday sales between now and the end of the year.

November 7, 2006

So America is voting today. Actually, most Americans don't really care. We lag behind 130 other countries in voter participation. In nonpresidential year elections, only about 40 percent of U.S. citizens of voting age cast ballots.

Despite the competitive nature of the 2000 presidential race and the certainty of having a new chief executive no matter who won, voter participation was just above 50 percent. In 2004, a polarized year when everyone remembered the near dead heat four years earlier, turnout climbed over 60 percent — edging a little closer to the likes of Iran, Iceland and Somalia.

Illegal voter participation among non-citizens is everyone's guess. As crazy as it sounds: The States generally do not verify a voter's legal eligibility to vote. Most States do not even require IDs before voting. In past elections, some of the voters turned out to be dead persons, pets, fictitious people and even Jesus (supposedly).

October 27, 2006

CAT FIGHT

Last Wednesday night I was attacked by my cat. My little and usually “cute and adorable” kitty suddenly turned into a fierce monster after a neighbor’s cat dared to trespass on her territory. Trying to avert what was about to turn into a bloody fight, I picked my cat up and carried her away.

I may have saved the other cat, but inadvertently I became the victim. Incredible how such a small creature can fight with such ferocity! I swear, had she been any bigger, I would have been torn to pieces. Luckily I got away with a dozen gashes on my hands and my right foot, as well as a deep puncture wound on my left hand. Leaving trails of blood, I dragged myself to the bathroom and immediately sprayed on massive amounts of antiseptic lotion.

That same night, first signs of infection set in. The area around the puncture on the left hand swelled up badly. Over time, the swelling spread to the entire hand. Within about 24 hours, I began to feel as though I was coming down with the flu, and I had an elevated temperature. This is not uncommon. Up to 50% of all cat bites become infected. These infections can be serious and fatal if left untreated. First symptoms usually appear within 12 hours. The culprit is usually mix of aerobic and anaerobic bacteria -- various strains of Pasteurella, Streptococci, Staphylococci, Moraxella, Corynebacterium and Neisseria. (Reassuring to know these details, isn’t it? The joys of being a science author ....).

I have decided that I will try to ride this out for now, hoping my immune system will do its job. But since the weekend is approaching, I have a pharmacist standing by with Augmentin (a heavy antibiotic) in case I need it. We shall see.

This didn’t keep me from attending the Austrian National Day reception at the residence of the Austrian Consul General -- although it was a little embarrassing to shake hands with all those bandages on.

October 22, 2006

Attended a reception at the Carnegie Observatories in Pasadena. Founded by George Hale in 1904, this institution has been on the forefront of astronomical research ever since. It was with Carnegie's funding and support (and with Carnegie instruments on nearby Mount Wilson) that Edwin Hubble established the foundations of modern astronomy.

The institute is still active on Mount Wilson, but also operates the Las Campanas observatory, set high in the southern reaches of Chile's' Atacama Desert. Soon, the Giant Magellan Telescope will open a new window to the universe. This extremely large 24-meter telescope will lead the search for new planets and help explore many of the most pressing mysteries in astrophysics, such as the nature of dark matter and dark energy.

Read more here.

PS: Sometime this week, the U.S. population supposedly passed the 300 million mark. Of course, we don't really know how many people live here, because we can't count illegal, undocumented immigrants. Their number is staggering and has been estimated to amount to tens of millions. Other population milestones were passed in 1914 (100 million) and in 1967 (200 million).

October 19, 2006

CLOAKING DEVICE

About two hours ago, AP reported that a team led by David Schurig (Duke University) was able to build a cloaking device which made an object invisible to microwaves. "We did this work very quickly ... and that led to a cloak that is not optimal," said co-author David R. Smith, also of Duke. "We know how to make a much better one."

Joining Schurig and Smith in the project were researchers at Imperial College in London and SensorMetrix, a materials and technology company in San Diego.

The cloak is made of metamaterials, which are mixtures of metal and circuit board materials such as ceramic, Teflon or fiber composite. In an ideal situation, the cloak and the item it is hiding would be invisible. An observer would see whatever is beyond them, with no evidence the cloaked item exists.

"The cloak reduces both an object's reflection and its shadow, either of which would enable its detection," Smith said. "Since we do not have a perfect cloak at this point, there is some reflection and some shadow, meaning that the background would still be visible just darkened somewhat. ... We now just need to improve the performance of cloaking structures."

The work will appear in tomorrow's edition of Science.

October 8 - Oct. 11, 2006

SAN FRANCISCO

Attending a conference in downtown San Francisco, I stayed on Sutter Street near Union Square. It was refreshing not having to use the car and not having to deal with the horrendous Los Angeles traffic for a few days. Again it occurred to me that I would have enjoyed San Francisco in a bygone era.

Other than the cable car, I enjoyed a fabulous steak dinner at Morton's on Sutter Street and a breakfast at Sears on Powell, both in the company of good friends.

PS: NORTH KOREA TESTS NUCLEAR DEVICE

While I was in San Francisco, North Korea followed through with its first underground nuclear test. This should not have come as a surprise to the West. However, the facts surrounding the event still remain a mystery. Seismological analysis by western experts has indicated that the yield was probably less than one megaton, which is surprisingly small. Since it is technologically much more challenging to build a small nuclear bomb than a large one (both in terms of physical size as well as in terms of yield), this leaves room for three possibilities. (1) The North Korean test was only a gigantic chemical explosion designed to fool foreign intelligence, (2) something went wrong and the nuclear reaction was not fully efficient, (3) North Korea’s nuclear weapons technology is far more sophisticated than anticipated.

Possibility 3 would be particularly scary, because it would mean that North Korea might soon have the capability to make a warhead small enough to be carried on the types of missiles they have been building and testing.

Even if the test was not a full success, it would have given North Korean engineers extremely valuable data. In any case, I would expect a followup test within months -- unless the international outcry and subsequent sanctions deter the regime.

History has shown that as soon as a country acquires nuclear weapons, we do not bother it any longer and prefer to make it an ally. Unfortunately, this has served to give countries like North Korea and Iran substantial motivation to pursue a nuclear program.

October 5 - Oct. 8

Working as the Los Angeles producer for a TV & Video shoot, a British production. These were very intense days with hardly a moment to breathe. Spent 16 to 18 hour per day on the shoot, most of them on the set. In the evening of Sunday, Oct. 8, I had to rush to the airport to catch my flight to San Francisco.

September 25, 2006 to Oct. 1, 2006

COMPUTER CRISIS

Went through the worst computer nightmare of my life. The first bad sign came on Monday, Sept. 25. For some reason my main laptop was running very slowly. It turned out that retrieving data from its internal hard disk had become unusually slow. This malfunction came at the worst possible time. Not only was I was running behind on the deadline for a major story, but I was booked for other work projects, including a TV shoot. Everything was scheduled back to back with no buffer in between.

The problem occured in my Apple PowerBook G4. It was running OS 10.3.9 and has an internal 2.5" hard disk made by Toshiba. This 80 gigabyte drive contained all my work and all source material for the article I am currently working on.

I first made several attempts to diagnose the disk using standard software tools, but didn't get far. Booting up in "safe mode" and resetting the PRAM were unsuccessful. I then booted from an emergency disk and tried to run utilities to repair the internal drive. But because reading the disk had become so slow, the operation took all night. It didn't even finish but got stuck in the middle. Next, I tried to clone the entire drive to another disk. That didn't work either, because the data access rate had slowed to a trickle by the 4th hour into the copying operation, then stopped altogether.

At this point, I needed to call in help. I had the unbelievable fortune of being engaged in research work with the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department when all this happened. Two of the department's IT experts came to my rescue. Having exhausted all software options, we opened up the laptop and removed the internal disk from the computer. The disk was then hooked up to a DiskJockey dock. This was connected to another computer, from which DiskWarrior software ran off an external CD. That operation also went on all night again, but was successful. By morning, the data structure was sufficiently repaired to allow copying the entire disk to an external drive, which took another night. To my relief, we found out the next morning that no crucial data had been destroyed or overwritten.

A brand new drive was then installed into the laptop. I performed a complete clean system reinstall, followed by a reinstall of all software. Then, I migrated the backup data from the external backup disk. In order to avoid possibly corrupted data, I had to do this in small steps, checking file after file, one by one. This operation took several days, but with the exception of some software and fonts I am still missing and some configuration settings, the entire system has been restored.

All in all, I lost about 8 full workdays. Obviously, those are 8 unpaid days.

I would like to express my gratitude to Deputy Troy Sella and to Deputy Eldon Hale from the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department. Without their help I would have never recovered my data. In addition, I would like to thank Bro. Brendan Davis (latest project: Life With Fiona) who immediately lent me an external hard drive, the Los Angeles Portable Users Group, as well as Eleu Navarro and William Moorefield (macitwork.com) for their kind advise.

September 15, 2006

GOT BLASTED BY "HEAT RAY"

While researching a story for Popular Science magazine, I was shown a few neat gadgets, such as a radar system which can look through walls and a device projecting sound over a distance of several miles. I also subjected myself to a "directed energy beam", a futuristic weapon which is being designed for military and law enforcement applications.

It consists of a focused electromagnetic beam which penetrates the upper layers of the skin, where it transfers energy to the pain receptors. This causes intense pain, as if the skin was being burned. From a distance of about 70 meters, the beam penetrated my clothing with ease. I then put on a motorcycle jacket made from heavy leather. That didn't offer any protection either -- the beam went right through it!

The existing prototype demonstrated to me is quite effective. It could be stationary or carried on a vehicle. The next step would be to shrink the system into the size of a personal weapon. More about this will appear in my upcoming article.

September 15, 2006

FINALLY: CLEANER DIESEL

Until now, diesel fuel in the U.S. could contain as much as 10 times more sulfur than diesel sold in the European Union. And that's a huge problem. Not only does the sulfur end up in the air we breathe, where it helps to form smog and acid rain and isn't exactly good for our lungs. To make matters worse, this has kept U.S. diesel engine technology in a perpetual stone age.

By contrast, modern European diesel engines have much lower emissions and offer better weight/performance ratios. And they are a lot more fuel efficient. All this has been made possible by improved turbochargers, particulate traps and catalytic converters. Unfortunately none of these technololgies work with too much sulfur in the fuel. In other words: the high sulfur content of U.S. diesel fuel has kept modern diesel engine technology off the North American market. And that's a shame, because high-tech diesel engines offer many advantages in terms of fuel savings, longevity and torque.

The new regulations are now decreasing the sulfur content of U.S. diesel fuel to 15 part per million, which is even lower than the E.U. norm of 50 ppm. But although regulators hail this as a great breakthrough, they are really distracting from the fact that they have done too little, too late. Cleaner diesel technology has been around for many years. Diesel engines tend to have a long service life, and it will take decades to replace the existing smoke belchers with environmentally more favorable engines.

August 30, 2006

PLUTO: NO PLANET AFTER ALL

Several friends were perplexed by all the recent fuss about Pluto. Unfortunately, most of the media coverage was quite misleading. It focused on Pluto, when in reality the root of the question before the International Astronomical Union was a very fundamental one: How do we define a planet?

Although it seems strange, astronomers have so far called objects "planets" without ever clearly defining what a planet is. It's an object that revolves around a star alright, but how does a planet differ from a comet or an asteroid?

Pluto has been called a planet ever since it was discovered in 1930, even though it is a very odd fellow. Compared to the other planets of our solar system, Pluto's orbit has a different angle. And although it was often called the sun's outermost planet, Pluto's strongly elliptical orbit takes it closer to the sun than Neptune during a part of the plutonian year. It gets stranger: Pluto's moon Charon is so large that it does not really orbit around Pluto. In fact, the two bodies orbit around a common center of gravity, a point in space. That would make Pluto and Charon double-planets, just like there are double-stars.

Because Pluto is so dissimilar to the other eight planets, some scientists have theorized that Pluto did not form out of the primordial solar system's gas and dust cloud. Instead, it might have formed in interstellar space and was later captured in the Sun's gravitational field. A "space orphan"?

A dilemma arose when better instruments discovered several other "oddball" objects outside of Neptune's orbit. So far, we have found over 1,000 of them. We don't know how many more there are. And there are more than 100,000 known asteroids. Which of these should we classify as planets? Clearly, a precise definition was needed.

So what the IAU's debate was really about was the definition of "planet". And then it turned out that if the agreed upon rules are applied, Pluto just didn't make the cut. Neither did the newly found objects 2003 UB313 ("Xena"), 2005 FY 9, 2003 EL61, Sedna and Quaoar.

Science measures things in nature and then applies the observed measurements to a system of classification. Sometimes there are errors and misclassifications which need to be corrected in order to maintain consistency. Thus, tomatoes are not really vegetables, but fruit. Bananas are not really fruit, but berries. And although it may be nuts to some: peanuts are really no nuts, but legumes. Cashews aren't nuts either -- they are seeds. And Pluto? Well, it's not really a planet. The current issue of Newsweek (Sept. 4, 2006) features an excellent cover story on the subject. (Their web site on MSN is terrible and does not run well on a Mac, which is why I'm not including a link here).

PS: On Sept. 7, the Minor Planet Center, which is responsible for collecting data on asteroids and comets, assigned Pluto's new designation: Asteroid number 134340. There are currently 136,563 asteroid objects recognized by the MPC; 2,224 new objects were added last week. Other notable objects to receive asteroid numbers included 2003 UB313, also known as "Xena," and the recently discovered Kuiper Belt objects 2003 EL61 and 2005 FY9. Their asteroid numbers are 136199, 136108 and 136472, respectively.

Of course, for practical purposes, Pluto will always be called "Pluto". (For more on Pluto, go here).

PS: IAUC 8747 reports that Xena has been given the official name Eris. Its companion satellite provionally dubbed "Gabrielle" has been named Dysnomia (Eris I).

August 28, 2006

Just returned from Oakland, Berkeley and San Francisco. Unfortunately, this trip's schedule allowed almost no time to stop and smell the roses. I didn't even get a chance to partake in my two usual San Francisco compulsions: Anchor Steam on tap and cable car rides. (Alas, here is a link to the online edition of Of Cables And Grips - The Cable Cars of San Francisco by Robert Callwell and Walter E. Rice).

Attempted to gracefully order dim sum in Oakland's Chinatown with a minimum of embarrassment to myself and tablemates. (I don't speak Chinese. The waitress didn't speak English. The challenging yet comical nature of the situation was enhanced by a menu consisting mostly of things I don't eat -- such as invertebrates and innards).

Attended an exhibition of artwork by Heisuke Kitazawa during a very brief "hit and run" visit to San Francisco's Haight Ashbury district.

UC Berkeley was buzzing with newly arrived college freshmen. And freshwomen. ("Freshpeople"?). Moe's bookstore on Telegraph Avenue is still there and busy, which is reassuring. (Yes, I left money).

August 21, 2006

DUMB AND DUMBER

A poll by Zogby International yielded these gems:

60% of Americans were able to correctly name Superman's fictional home planet (Krypton), but only 37% could name the planet closest to the sun (Mercury).

23% could name the recent winner of the TV show "American Idol" (Taylor Hicks), but only 11% could name the recently named Supreme Court Justice (Samuel Alito).

60% knew that Homer was the father of Bart on "The Simpsons". But only 20.5% knew that Homer was the ancient Greek author of The Iliad and The Odyssey.

74% knew that Larry, Moe and Curley were the Three Stooges. But only 42% could name the three branches of government (judicial, executive and legislative).

57% could identify J.K. Rowling's fictitional boy wizard (Harry Potter), but only 50% could name the British prime minister (Tony Blair).

Oh, dear.

August 16, 2006

NINE MONTHS ADRIFT AT SEA

In today's edition, the L.A. Times reports an amazing survival story. A trio of lost fishermen from a Mexican village were rescued 5,000 miles away from home. Their vessel was found intact near Baker Island in the middle of the Pacific. After being blown away from shore in October 2005, they had been adrift for nine months. The men survived on rainwater, raw fish and the occasional seabird, but had to go without food for stretches of up to 15 days. They reported reading the Bible to pass the time, which I suppose they must know pretty well by now.

August 3, 2006

BAD DOG!

In England, a guard dog went on a rampage, ripping apart a costly collection of rare teddy bears valued at more than $900,000. Among the victims of Barney the dog was Mabel, a brown 1909 bear once owned by a young Elvis Presley. All in all the six-year-old Doberman pinscher reduced hundreds of teddies to bits of limbs and fluffy stuffing. "He just went beserk", said Daniel Medley, general manager of Wookey Hole Caves near Wells. A security guard chased the dog for several minutes before finally catching and subduing him. I guess Barney is in the doghouse now.

August 1, 2006

DO IT YOURSELF LIPOSUCTION

According to a wire report, a Massachusetts couple was arrested for allegedly performing liposcutions in the basement of their home. One female patient has died. Luiz Carlos Ribeiro and Ana Maria Miranda Ribeiro were charged with practicing medizine without a license. I wonder how they found their patients. Word of mouth?

July 24, 2006 MOUNT PALOMAR Just returned from a trip to Southern California's Mount Palomar Observatory. Completed in 1948, the big 200-inch reflector was the world's largest telescope for many decades. Together with the Mount Wilson Observatory, it is the place where modern cosmology was born. Measurements obtained from these two observatories led to the discovery of foreign galaxies, the expanding universe, the composition of the universe, the birth and death of stars and the formation of planets. Visiting this place has been a childhood dream for me.

Here is a list of the world's largest telescopes.

June 29, 2006

WARNING: TREES CAN ENDANGER YOUR HEALTH

The fear of negligence and liability lawsuits is rampant in today's America. More and more, we are turning into a nanny state, in which even the minutest risk needs to be prevented, mitigated and legislated. Case in point is the large number of old trees which the City of Santa Monica is currently cutting down. Why? For the most part because these trees could potentially fall over and (gasp!) injure or kill someone.

Never mind that the risk is so remote that the National Safety Council does not even keep track of it. Compare that to the risk of driving a car on a public street, or that of becoming a crime victim. Indeed, the risk of catching Lyme disease (from an infected tick) or West Nile Fever (from an infected mosquito), both of which are found in our area, is much higher. Indeed, I would be willing to bet that the risk of getting killed by lightning is higher than that of getting hit by falling tree.

One needs to understand that Santa Monica, the city in which I live, is quite wealthy. What probably would have been just an accident in some other place became a huge lawsuit here when such a freak accident involving a tree did indeed happen here. So now, we are throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Ever mindful of lurking dangers to the public while watching the City's finances, the City Attorney and other bureaucrats have decided that it is far better for all of us if we remove these old, mighty trees and replace them with tiny new ones. Not only do saplings have a smaller tendency to fall over and kill unsuspecting city folk, but they are also cheaper to prune and maintain. Makes sense, doesn't it? Our public parks will be very safe now.

As for me: I have sat under these old trees countless times. And I have always been quite content with taking that risk in exchange for their majestic beauty, the shade and the wonderful scent. I spent the last few days on a personal cruisade to stop the cutting in the park adjacent to where I live. I was interviewed by the Los Angeles Times and various local papers, addressed the Santa Monica City Council and spoke at various neighborhood association meetings. Unfortunately none of this was successful, and the 80 - 90 year old trees fell victim to the chainsaws during the last few days.

Here is some press about it. (The reporter misspelled my last name).

The LookOut news: City Removes Reed Park Trees

May 11, 2006

I mourn the death of my grandfather Gottfried ("Fritz") Koch of Eisenerz, Austria, who passed away at the age of 84 years. "Opa" leaves behind my grandmother, his wife of 63 years, as well as children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Although he could sometimes be stern on the outside, I remember him as a loving man who will forever be in my heart as a part of many beautiful childhood memories.